San Francisco Angels

 Wood Bat Baseball Team

Recap of 2003 season

AABC NorCal Sectional Playoffs- July 26 & 27

Click for Home Page Here

AABC Sectionals- Sacramento/Elk Grove- July 25-27

Angels knife the Nacs, are whack-a-doodled by Jerry's kids,

then get Knick-nacked, paddywhacked,

GIVE  DA  BOYS  A  BONE, ROLAND'S  DAWGS  GO 

CRAWLING  HOME

Mr. Nazar's team teaches loudmouth Richmond boys a lesson in respect,

but gets disrespected by San Jose gangsters and Marin thugs!

Angels mix it up with the blues:

Someone call the police!

Friday July 25, 10pm- The San Francisco Angels won its opening game in the AABC Stan Musial NorCal State Tournament with an 11-0 spanking of the Richmond Nacs at Sacramento City College. Angels Manager and Richmond city high school special instructor Roland Nazar resumed his experienced handling of unruly Richmond youngin's. The Nacs' loss negated their earlier 5-2 win over the unremarkable Sacramento Legends.

Photo shows Wes Bentley playing catch with  Brad Shannon while Richmond Nacs hitter watches in awe. Photo from NorCal league's website, compiled by tournament director Gregor Wakefield.

Lance Stevens won his seventh game of the season by pitching five smooth innings. Wes Bentley completed the shutout by hurling the last two frames. Mike Ryan continued on a torrid hitting pace. Brad Shannon wrapped things up with a grand slam late in the game. Shannon now has approximately 74 homeruns, maybe 80 (not all the scoresheets have been turned in).

Saturday July 26, 10pm- The Angels continued at Sac City College with a 1pm game Saturday against the Whacks.  Sponsored by the never-convicted-but-always-guilty Jerry Fontanetti, the Whacks had beaten up the strong Novato Knicks early Friday afternoon, 12-2 and then defeated the weakened Solano Sultans on Friday night.  See Angels letters of complaint last year about the absentee director Fontanetti's wretched but purposeful mishandling of the NorCal State tournament.

Whack starter Robert Hernandez kept down the Angels offense and the Whacks broke a tie to win late in the game 5-4. The remaining four teams, the Knicks, Nacs, Whacks and the paddywhacked were paired, with the Whacks defeating the Nacs at Sac City College, while the Knicks knocked out the Angels 7-6 in Elk Grove. Defensive lapses and sluggish hitting contributed to the Angels' demise.

The Elk Grove game which eliminated the Angels late Saturday was completed only after numerous delays. Both teams got runs on balk calls. The call against the Angels was especially contentious; three Angel players were thrown out, including the centerfielder who ran a world class sprint to mix it up with the blues and threw his glove at them.  who, despite having just been injured on a crash at the fence, calmly walked in to discuss the matter with game officials. The officials showed a total lack of respect for failing to give time to the injured player to recover from his jarring accident.  The lights didn't go on, the umpires left, then came back at the behest of the Tournament Director who turned the lights on..

Not So Fast!

The above description is a revised version agreed to by the San Francisco Angels Wood Bat Baseball Team's Committee for Ethics and Censorship after the webmaster admitted he hadn't been at the game and really didn't know for sure the manner in which the dispute was addressed by the team's star outfielder. The Committee issued the following warning: "Stick to the facts and don't miss your doses. Clearly demarcate your opinions from the news content of the Corporate site or you'll be blowing balloons the rest of your life!" 

They can't touch this:

Instant Editorial! The value of players diminish when they give in to self-indulgent verbal freelancing, snapping, and attempts to assault umpires in some weird Oedipal psychodramas. They should be staying in ballgames and try to win them.  The team has generally been restrained this year, but the team's history in the last three or four years has been one of underachievement aggravated by bacchanalian revelry and clownish distemper that keep the team unable to consistently compete at the highest level. Team leadership should be maturing, but it keeps regressing in the face of adversity, in hot weather, when an umpire shows an attitude, etc. The team is stuck in the popular boorish thug conformity without purpose that leads to dissolution when greatness is within reach. Management and players of other teams are generally surprised when the Angels fail in any games. Last weekend's tournament was set up for the Angels to sweep through. The failure to do so belittles all of us.   Maybe the team needs a SuperThug to run the games and to slap all the little thuggies down. Unfortunately those teams don't usually succeed without a lot of bloodletting.  Alexander the Great and Attila the Hun would be subject to endless lawsuits and criminal complaints just in maintaining order among the troops!   The real answer is to check the exuberance  and passion with sobriety and discipline, not to replace the vitality and competitive spirit but to guide them to successful results. Such self-control needs to be internalized and made natural to its bearers. Tame the beast within and lead it to victory!   The paddywhacked Angelitos, still niños pequeños, now go on to their fourth tournament, on Friday in San Jose, with a record of 38-19, yet without the significant success expected from the talent on the team.

"Au contraire, you Dogg!"- See Official Proceedings of the San Francisco Angels Wood Bat Baseball Team's Kangaroo Court:   Intern Charged with Perdition, Sedition, & Hypocrisy!

Official Proceedings of the San Francisco Angels Wood Bat Baseball Team's Kangaroo Court Kangaroos: We are here to convict and pass sentence on the accused, Hot Dogg, aka Jeremy Kurtzenmeister, web intern, and his anomalous co-existing co-defendant, fellow-travelling "travel director". HotDogg: Wha..? Kangaroos: Shut up, meat! You have snitched on the players, criticized the team in public, berated their families, and made a mockery of common thuggery! HotDogg: Well, yes, I did.. Kangaroos: thumpa-thumpa Shut up, little doggy! In addition to these particulars, which we now record as verified through your confession, you are charged and convicted of hypocrisy. HotDogg: No, not hypocrisy. I have my dignity, you know. Wait! You can say that any given human being is guilty of hypocrisy. Duh. Anyway, who are you to accuse me of hypocrisy? Kangaroos: Enough of your processed meat! Isn't it true that you actually have had numerous run-ins with umpires, that the current outfield star with a certain aggravation with umpires is actually milder than the previous outfield star who went genuinely psycho against umpires almost all the time, and that you shocked that hothead whenever you got involved in a shoving and pissing match with game officials, leaving the psycho speechless and actually feeling sorry for them? HotDogg: Uh, uh, that must have been Dad. I'm too young.. Kangaroos: Bullshit all the way from hell! Isn't it true that you are just a senior baseball player hiding as a web intern! HotDogg: Objection! Kangaroos: Overruled! Isn't it true that the senior league you play in had altercations with umpires just last Sunday? Isn't it true that 55-year-old catcher-and-coach Potos Lanatos of the Po' Ex's senior baseball team, the same Potos Lanatos who runs the college Po' Ex's in the San Jose Tournament, had a prolonged run-in with the home umpire this last Sunday, and that you got knocked down by this hothead in your attempt to restrain him? HotDogg: That's not exactly what happened! We were playing Red Rover! He got through, that's all. Anyway, once he got through, all he did was shout right in the umpire's face. Kangaroos: That's not what the umpires' reports say!  We submit as evidence the following correspondence: SeniorsThugOnBlues. Now isn't it true that uncontrolled players behavior is rampant in senior baseball! HotDogg: Objection! Kangaroos: The convict is directed to answer the question. HotDogg: Alright, yes, it's a problem. Our players are older, they deserve more respect from the umpires. Some of those umpires are fucking blind. On Sunday, I got a strike call a foot outside. I just stood there, and then I stepped out and yelled to the team to bring the coaches since I was going to get myself thrown out of the game. One time a blue magoo called a way low curve for called strike three and then had the audacity to question whether my helmet's ear-flap was cracked. Jesus Christ, you bet it was cracked, it was an Angels' helmet for godsakes. Anyway, I just walked out. He threw me out, and I cursed him for ten minutes using my well-known family fornication suggestions. I've used horrible curse words against umpires all the time! Our team was kicked off the field. But Potos is an attorney and so we don't have that second-rate security guard as an umpire anymore! I hope he rots in hell with that self-baptized Christian umpire who walked off our game last year in the playoffs at SF State. Fuck him too, what a prig, he's going straight to hell! You want stories? I got lots of stories about incompetent and sadistic umpires! And people tell me about them all the time. Dan Lepez runs a senior team in Rohnert Park, he used to umpire with his dad, but had a run-in with a cancer-stricken umpire just two weeks ago, a 90-lb foul-mouthed dying man cursing the catcher! Umpires will die before they ever admit they're fucked up! Kangaroos: Have some water. It's okay. Just let it flow. Would you like a handkerchief? HotDogg: I'll tell you the fucking reason for the disorder in society! I'll tell you! It's the forces of order, hah! They're out of control! Who can trust them? They are either incompetent or evil, I'll tell you what. They are cynical and sadistic, they abuse power, they hide their evil behind the mask of Jesus: they play God. Fuck them! The lousy umpires either went to the Mark Furman Academy for the Training of Racist, Belligerent, and Out of Control Game Officials, or they're third rate security guards who failed the physical and intelligence tests necessary to be legitimate thugs for the power structure. Kangaroos: Let it flow, let it flow, brother! So who is fighting them, are you fighting them? What about these seniors? Who are they? Did you mention an attorney? HotDogg:  Fuck yeah! Attorneys know how to deal with those fucking apes, hell, upright middle-class professionals, millionaires, I once saw Assemblyman Harden Libril once working his way through an umpire's face. We know what to do. We don't take abuse. Hell, judges, business owners retired at 40, building contractors, more attorneys, accountants, all of them Americans who demand respect from the people they put in charge of law and order. Umpires are our servants! If they play God, they need to be cut down! Kangaroos: Hallelujah, brother! Case dismissed! HotDogg: Oh. Yeh, well, if any of our ballplayers step out of line, I want you to know that we will do our best to preserve the order of the game and work toward a decent respect for the officials who stand over the game and keep it from descending into chaos. Kangaroos: Sweet! Did you write that yourself? HotDogg: The beast within must be guided to its proper goals, and be kept from detouring, by its simple chemistry, to wrong endeavors.  A constant struggle! Kangaroos: But we must stand together, brother! HotDogg: Make no effort to worship the beast's chemistry!  Hold no sacramental rites! The rules provide for enough enemies on the field, why make more! Tame the beast within and lead it to victory!

Post-season note: In fact, the Angels played it straight this year and generally stayed out of trouble. And the umpires at the crucial Saturday game were absolutely horrible, and should have been tarred and feathered, but such materials were lacking from the cheapskate tournament director Gregor Wakefield.

Sunday July 27, 10pm- The Whacks defeated the Knicks 8-5 for the tournament championship in an 11am game Sunday at Sacramento City College. Both teams advance to the AABC Stan Musial Regional Tournament in Long Beach on Thursday, July 31, because the  NorCal section has two slots:

See  NorCal league's website compiled by Gregor Wakerfield, the pleasant and friendly tournament director, for more pictures and details. We thank him for the use of the above photo.

NorCal President Norm Thompson informed NorCal State Tournament teams Saturday that two teams from the NorCal Tournament will advance to the regional tournament at Blair Field in Long Beach beginning Thursday July 31.  An inquiry was sent to the tournament director in that Great Wasteland which is Southern California. But the tournament director there doesn't have an answering service, so was unable to respond to the question why with only 6 teams there was a need to start play on a Thursday.

In the Thursday games, the Whacks defeated one So-Cal team 7-3 and the Nicks defeated another 5-3.

Click here for July 25-27 Sacramento tournament schedule, bracketing, directions, rules.

August 5- From Norm Thompson, AABC NorCal Stan Musial Director:

"Fontinetti's Whacks will be representing the western region in the AABC
World Series this week. Novato Knicks were the runners up. This is the 3rd
year in a row the NorCal section of the AABC has sent a team to the World Series."

According to Knicks General Manager Chris Kenyon, on vacation afterwards in Disneyland, the Long Beach regional tournament games were 7 innings each. The Knicks were knocked out of the winner's bracket early on the weekend of August 2 in an extra-inning game with the San Jose Whacks, then faced them in the championship on Sunday August 3, needing to beat them twice. The Knicks won the first game 4-0, but lost the second in extra innings, 4-1 when the Whacks scored three runs.

The Angels beat the Knicks in the league playoffs, but lost to them and the Whacks in the NorCal sectional tournament in Sacramento on the weekend of July 26.

At left, Whacks' Blueness, Jerry Fontanetti congratulates pitcher Robert Graham for his State Tournament victory over the San Francisco Angels.

2003 AABC Stan Musial World Series results were posted at: http://aabc.us/g_score_sm.htm. It was the first year for wood bats in Battle Creek and scores were low (except in the championship).

 In their third game, the San Jose Whacks were sacked 6-0 by Hackensack, and were hacked from the tournament with their second loss. A team called the Atlanta Yankees won the tournament out of the loser's bracket, after having lost to the Whacks 2-1 in their first game.

AN  INTERVIEW  WITH  THE WEBMASTER!

Interviewer: Say, Webmaster, what's wrong with you, you've started to sour on the team. Aren't your pills working?

HotDogg: It's a long season.

Interviewer: Don't you think that your negativity is starting to grind on people? I understand some players have switched email addresses just to avoid you.

HotDogg: I needed to provoke a response, any response. It's like a bad commercial, it gets on your nerves but it sells.

Interviewer: What are you selling?

HotDogg: People need to step up. Some people are fading out. I say let them blow away. Let's do it right or start again in the spring.

Interviewer: It's all about winning, isn't it?

HotDogg: I need clicks or I lose my job. I will resort to video games, pornography, and even cartoons if necessary. This losing big games is killing business. We had things set up!

Interviewer: Is it a money thing, too?

HotDogg: I'll tell you how desperate I am. I just got part-time work blowing balloons for a clown at kids' parties. I'm lucky he's got asthma.

Sacramento Rural League Final Standings (AABC- Stan Musial)

Southern Division

Northern Division

Totals

Totals

something's wrong!

Angels clinched NorCal State tournament berth (July 25-27) by finishing 1st in league.

* - advanced to league playoffs this weekend at TCUP Stadium in Vacaville.

Saturday July 19
Game # 1 11:00 am #2 seed, San Mateo Bulldogs Vs # 3 seed, Novato Knicks
Game # 2 3:00 pm   # 1 seed, Angels vs # 4 seed, Fairfield Indians

Sunday July 20
Game # 3 11:00 am Winner game #1 vs Winner Game # 2
Game # 4 if necessary *

* If Fairfield beats Angels then the winner of game 3 will play Angels at 3:00 on Sunday.

From League President Norm Thompson:

Play off reminders.
1. Players on your team should have been on your roster as of  July 1, and
played in 3 league games, per league rule, no new player can be added to the
team roster after that date.        
2. All players must be listed on the game lineup card with uniform #s for
each player, starter and reserves.
3. No player may be added to the line up card after the start of the game.
4. The home team is the team with the highest seed when they play each
other, 1) Angels, 2) San Mateo, 3) Novato, 4) Fairfield.
5. The league pays the entire entry fee to the state tournament for the
winner of our playoff and 1/2 of the entry fee to the 2nd place team
6. All games are 9 innings (if a 2nd championship game is necessary, that
game is 7 innings)
7. Bring balls for your games.